I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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