Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
