After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
