i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
