Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
