so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
