I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
