When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
