Whatcha textin bout Willis?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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