Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
