I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
