how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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