I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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