In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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