I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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