idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
