He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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