sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
