Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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