Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
