you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
