Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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