Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize