Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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