I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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