I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
