I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The beer is more important than you right now.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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