been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
