Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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