and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
