Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize