my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
