he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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