I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
