I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
