in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
it's like iHOP with fire
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
