Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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