She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
