I need help removing her.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
