my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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