3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I need to calm my uterus...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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