tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize