Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
