Dual....:-)
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
