butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
