someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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