I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
