After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
