remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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