You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
