I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
