his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
