i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Bang-toberfest begins!!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
