I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
