He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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