walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize