It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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