No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sorry my hands just texted you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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