i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize