the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
