i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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