So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize