mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
