you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
