I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I want her autograph on my taint
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
