so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
