i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
