i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
