i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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