Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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